Month: January 2017

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So officially my 10 days with CRK is now over!!!

And it’s been 14 days since I have last cuddled with my husband and my daughter. The anticipation of going back in the arms of my family next week, fills my heart and soul with a warmth that I can not describe in words.

Yet….I will admit… that I will miss living on my own too.

For the last two weeks – I kind of made a routine for myself. I went to work, came back, cooked something simple for myself while blogging.. But the only thing I was really looking forward to every evening was to get in bed with a book!

With the mad rush of my day to day life in UK, it was not really possible to zone myself into a proper reading habit every day. However in Kitale – it’s been ideal! The peaceful environment, the lack of human noise and disturbance made my reading ten fold pleasureable..

I finished 6 books in 2 weeks .. (not bad considering I have been working evenings to get a few things finished for CRK and of course trying my hand with this blogging thing…)

Ultimately what I am trying to say is .. this time spent away from family and friends have given me the space I often crave for… it has given me some time to think about many things .. and some time to think about nothing!

I love my family to bits but I love my own company too…

I was truly content to live in solitude with a few books and some good musics. And will cherish the last 2 weeks not only for the people and friends I have made around in Kitale but also for the alone time it has given me..

As much as I look forward to being in Nairobi tomorrow and then back to UK next week.. I will definitely look back to my 10 days of solitude with fulfilment.

So as you can tell.. instead of buying a posh handbag  or that sparkling pair of shoes .. I used my savings to come to Kenya and to spend two weeks with Child Rescue Kenya.

Ofcourse I respect your decision to do anything you want with your own money! But let me tell you why I chose to do this instead of another normal holiday trip to a beach destination.

In a nutshell – it was to challenge myself- one more time….

To prove to myself that if needed and if required – I can cross oceans to go to a different country in a different culture and yet do something productive and useful. And above all -to prove that even an ordinary person like me can make some difference somewhere in the world.

As we are growing up in our lives – we face many challenges. Like – passing those awful board exams, getting the right marks to get to the desired college/university, winning someone’s heart, making that special person your own, learning to swim, drive, playing guitar or football…. the list is absolutely countless…

Then once we hit our late twenties and early thirties – the challenges we face changes…

The challenge of getting a job, settling in with your partner, buying a decent house and a car, raising kids and what not…

But you know what? Amidst these all – one day will come when you will realise that even though many years have surpassed and you have overcome many hurdles .. you really haven’t challenged yourself to your maximum.

It is really very easy to get into that low-risk and easy rhythm of life once you achieved the structured and socially accepted challenges…..

The monotonous and safe cycle of : Office – home – weekend – office – home – weekend..and maybe an odd vacation now and then…

I am not saying that it is bad; or not good enough; by any means. But is it really adequate and enough?

Just think… why does most of us stop pursuing new challenges after a certain age? There are millions of exceptions I know.. but yet there are many more millions of us who are just happy to stay within that low risk easy life cycle I mentioned earlier.

Just like most people I faced many challenges in my life too. And some challenges were harder than others and without doubt shaped me to be who I am today.

Staying mentally strong and focused on the future after my father’s sudden death was a big challenge to me. Not many people know what inner demons I fought to come to terms with that tragedy.

Or how hard it was for me to focus back into my life and studies when I got my heart broken for the first time…

Sometimes it is easy to think that physical challenges are the hardest- like climibing Mt Everest or swimming across the oceans. Yes I fully appreciate the dedication and endurance it takes to undertake such challenges but nothing can compare to the mental blocks and challenges we face in our lives everyday.

As I was saying – I think challenging myself is important for my self growth. Personally it feeds my soul. It makes me happy with myself.

After my father’s death – coming abroad to pursue higher studies was a challenge. Settling in a new job in a new culture within a new country was a challenge. Pursuing my professional qualifications while being heavily pregnant was a challenge …

Each time I started a new job or a new role in my professional life has been challenging too.  For instance each time I have made a mistake or each time I have asked a colleague a question… I knew I was growing.

I knew I was learning and getting stronger. I was not stuck in a job where I knew everything about .. each new task, new responsibility was shaping me into a better, more learned me..

And now… coming to Kenya was a challenge too.. a challenge which is sadly coming to an end..

Tomorow is my last day in Child Rescue Kenya and I am truly amazed how much I have learned in the last few days..

Apart from the work aspect – I have come to learn a lot about myself too.

I know my limitations (English toilet only please! ) and also my other strengths …

And the satisfaction of knowing these …have been worth thousand times more than the experiences I have gained from my other holiday trips..ever!

Now that my current challenge to myself is almost accomplished..

I know exactly what my next challenge to myself will be once I am back from Kenya..(if my husband is reading it I am sure he is already sweating and most probably swearing under his breath )

Let me know if you would like to know about that too..and I will maybe blog that journey too..

The bottom line is – No matter how old I am and what I face in life – I hope I can keep on proving to myself that with each challenge I will be stronger and better! And nothing is quite impossible for me…

err.. except maybe stroking the big cats when I am in Nairobi National park next week or the small cats when I am back to UK!!

 

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Yesterday my mom gave a me midnight call…. (Well.. midnight for me..but 3 am for her!)

Me and my mom normally talk every lunch time – even if for two seconds – but due to the time difference and my commitments in Kenya it is rather difficult to continue that routine.

Anyhow, so she called me, and we caught up on everything and everyone. She asked me about my work, my lodge, the food and all…. (being the mother ofcourse…)

So when I told her I am spending a lot of time outside in the sun and taking the motorbike to and back from work each day  she teased me that I will be so tanned that I will be as dark as the locals…

I laughed and said I am rather glad that I am blending in so well..

But it really got me thinking… how the perception of skin colour is different in various cultures and societies…

Now let me remind you .. I am a simple person with very limited brain capacity. All big controversies and issues around the world like race, religion, politics etc are usually beyond me..

Even English is too complex for me! And I find it difficult to get my head around English words..

For instance I don’t really understand how the word ‘light’ or ‘fair’ got it’s positive connotation from, whereas somehow ‘black’ or ‘dark’ ended up  with negative meanings associated with it.

We say things like “Black magic” to refer to something bad… whilst “White” is all about light, goodness, innocence, purity, and virginity. It is considered to be the color of perfection. White means safety, purity, and cleanliness. As opposed to black, it is a positive word.. 🙁 But did you ever wonder why?

I am no linguist and have limited knowledge about this but I still think somehow it is such usage of words in languages that has  given birth to racism. Or could it be the other way round?

Darker people are being considered inferior to the fairer ones and I wonder could it simply because of the words used to represent? Statics prove how the standard of living and pay scales can differ based on skin colour only!

Racial, gender wage gaps persist in U.S. despite some progress

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/money/2016/feb/01/pay-gap-black-white-uk-workers-widens-more-qualifications?client=safari

https://money.cnn.com/2015/11/24/news/economy/blacks-whites-inequality/

I know nowadays there are campaigns like “dark is beautiful and all that.. but why are we even needing these campaigns in the first place?

Why is colour a factor in determining a person? And how, when and why did ‘black’ became inferior , ‘white’ superior and ‘brown’ just mediocre?

So as I was saying earlier.. that conversation with my mum left me thinking all these and more…

Will me becoming few shades darker in the sun will mean anything to anybody??

I am pretty sure I live in an environment and among people to whom it will not matter at all.

I am guessing that most  people will not even notice.. Or maybe someone will notice it and will wonder…how ‘dark’ Rubaiyat is now!!!

But have I really gone ‘dark’ or is it ‘light’??

You look at my skin and you see a darker Rubaiyat.  But look again… into my heart and my soul… what do you see? Looking within myself I see more light…I have found more light in this darkness than many other places.

I am dark so I am enlightened…I am dark so I am now privileged and experienced. I am now better… with the knowledge of  a new country, new culture, new people, new working environment and also a new me – who knows she can adopt to any changes and with anyone around her…

So when you see me next – I wonder whether you will see the darkness or the light within?

Remember that the word ‘dark’ is not necessarily dark….  Within this darkness hides a lot of ‘light’….

Today I am 50 shades darker.  And yet 100 times lighter….

I can’t believe it will be Friday tomorrow and I will have completed the first week of my placement in CRK!

When you are working towards a greater cause you are driven to change the world and move mountains. But in reality nothing like that happens. All good and sustainable things takes time to be built.. whether a good home, a business or a simple accounting process.

I am on track with my work load in Child Rescue Kenya – but then Eric and I are both pragmatic and conversative accountants 😉 who know that in two weeks there’s only so much we can review and implement.

Saying all that…at this point I will cheat and say .. Every Little Helps!!!

(Sorry Tesco for cheating and using your slogan) but you know what?  It is sooooo true!!  Every Little step does help to move things towards the right direction and achieve that ultimate goal. Whether is it work, studies, passion, personal improvement .. start small but carry on .. never give up and that will indeed take you where you want to be..

Initially I thought I am a nobody… and what help can I offer to CRK? .. but the colleagues here are so friendly, grateful and appreciative that I realise that even a little recommendation I am offering is being taken with respect and sincerity. I am only the beginning of the change in CRK and my little effort is only getting the wheels in motion – which must not stop.

I urge you to do something good today.. no matter how small….

Doesn’t matter whether you are a doctor, teacher, dancer, singer, dietician, chef, engineer or a boring accountant like me!

We can all help in little ways and every little does help!!

Go to a remote village and cook for some famished street kids if you are a chef, teach how to dance and sing if need be – so that kids on the roads are involved and not diverted to drugs. If you are a doctor or a engineer – fix someone or something! We can all do our own bits and we must do it!

Never understate or underestimate yourself. (I am usually guilty of this).

You might not be a superpower compared to many..but remember somewhere someone will always appreciate your little gesture  if you offer your services and skills for a good cause.

And as the saying goes .. one more time… “Every Little helps!!!”