I feel guilty!!

The last two days in Nairobi has been amazing and crazy! After the humble and modest lifestylr in Kitale for 2 weeks I am now back in the city life of Nairobi and it is really making me guilty!!

Maybe for many it is not much… but I have actually spent over $500 US dollars in the last two days just visiting places like elephant orphanage, giraffe centre, Masai village, kajuri beads factory and a few game drives in Nairobi national park and Lake Nakuru lake parks.. not to mention the usual shopping, eating and tipping :(.

And I feel terrible, terrible and just terrible!

I don’t know why – spending so much money on touristy things, staying in a decent (I don’t do 5 stars when I travel alone) hotel and eating in restaurants are now making me think of the street kids I have seen and left behind in Birunda!

It’s not that I have never seen poverty and street beggars below..because common I am from Bangladesh after all! But honestly this is in a complete different level! And unless you have experienced it first hand in African countries you will never really know what I am talking about here…

So.. as I was saying .. everything is making me feel rather self conscious and crazy guilty!

I know soon this feeling will mellow down and I will be back to my old life of taking many things for granted but still I think travelling does change your morality!

Check the link below and you will know what I mean..

https://nymag.com/scienceofus/2017/01/how-traveling-to-a-foreign-country-can-make-you-less-moral.html

Honestly…. I am not sure what is right and what is not.

I don’t wish for gold, branded clothes, shoes or bags.. I don’t care for posh cars or big houses (sorry .. that is a lie .. I DO want a big house :p) but only want to see the world!

I ask myself…Should I stop travelling (the only reason why I am forever poor) and give my savings to the people in need always?

But then, this world is so immensely beautiful that no matter where I go, I am left in awe and in need for more… every single time!!

Whoever said it – is right..  Travelling is indeed like a drug!!

This afternoon I was on a game drive in Nakuru and I was  constantly thanking Allah for all the amazing creatures and scenarios He has made around the world! I thanked Him for giving me the opportunity to be where I was at that moment of time – sharing the land with those wild beasts! And also for all the wonderful places He has taken me in the past.

I feel so utterly grateful to Allah for letting me see atleast a few of his million natural miracles – that I don’t really know whether I should have this guilty feeling for spending money on seeing the world or not!!

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